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coward

What makes a coward?

That’s what has been on my mind today. What makes a coward. I don’t know, but to me, this does it. Twenty six year old man beat a two year old child so badly, the toddler is in a coma.

My hands shake as I’m typing. I can’t express full anger and shock. I look at the youngest one of my soon to be stepsons and I want to cry.

He’s almost five.

His fingers and toes are tiny.

His hair is soft and smells wonderful.

His laugh is infectious.

He loves to be tickled.

He loves to muck around.

He loves hugs.

He is an angel for 12 hours of the day.

He is a little hellion for the other 12 hours.

So I ask, how a father can raise a hand against his child? I can’t imagine what this little girl went through. The sheer terror, the pain makes me cry all over again. I don’t understand. Twenty six years old, weighing what, 75-80 kgs versus what, 15-18kg?

Something in me screams for revenge. For blood. I want this monster, and those just like him (male or female) to pay. There are people out there to whom a child would be a miracle, a gift straight from the Heavens. Instead to him, it was a punching bag.

I pray this child, this innocent, tiny child survives and has a good quality of life. I pray that she will be taken care of, she will be loved and cherished.

I will write more a bit later… Its all a bit raw at the moment.

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My poor boy is upset. The almost 5yo is growing up too fast. The way he talks, the way he behaves. Its so cute but so fascinating to watch this little boy developing into a ‘big boy’. Very privileged to have the opportunity to observe this development.

I also find it fascinating how people have different parenting styles or how my friends, none of whom have kids yet, view children. Fascinating human behaviour.

We were over at a friends house a few weeks ago. They are a young couple looking to start a family soon. The funny thing is, they live in the most impractical house you can possibly imagine. Expensive, massive house that would be perfect for a couple with older kids, but for a young couple, impractical.

I think my experience with the boys, especially the younger one, has taught me to just relax and chill out about small things. Mess is a mess is a mess. No biggie. Kids will be kids. I’ve always had this attitude before I met my partner that *MY* kids would be well behaved. Never swear, never create a mess, never touch couch with dirty hands and never ever be anything but perfect little angels.

HA!

I think what I learnt is that being fun police is no fun at all. I’d rather boys play than sit still. Yes, they still have to clean up their mess and do chores etc, but I think I didn’t realise the importance of having fun and mucking around till just recently.

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